Wednesday, 18 January 2012

Dua Kucing Lapar

dua kucing lapar berdiri di kerumunan kumuhnya pasar
tahi mata terus keluar sampai mengering
bulu yang kumuh menghangatkan yang penting
matilah dia jika menginjak tanah
lumpur hitam dan kaki tanpa mata
siap mengubur dan menginjak
di meja rombeng mereka tinggal
menunggu jatuhan bangkai atau serpihan yang berbau makanan
berjalan gelisah di meja yang sempit
lalu lalang orang bukan jaminan
jangan sampai terjatuh ke tanah
hidupnya tak akan lama
mereka berjalan gelisah
tuhan juga binatang punya
seorang wanita tanpa sadar melempar plastik ke meja
tuhan itu memang ada
menggelincir ke pinggir meja
dua kucing lapar mencoba menggapai
mereka jatuh ke tanah beserta makanan di mulut
matilah mereka
tapi mereka ke kolong meja

Sunday, 15 January 2012

The Last Writing I'm Wasting on You

Suddenly the sound of a burning cigarette flow into my ear. It's been a year and two days since I met you. I'm listening the last song I'm wasting on you. I want to hear the sound of a burning cigarette again, so I smoke again. Pull a bold white poison smoke into my lungs. And I'm still wondering what kind of love you gave me. But it's not a matter anymore. I have deleted all visible memory of you. But not in my head. It's permanently written. Like any other memory I have. It planted like a root, but not grow any bigger. I remember your face, your smile and laugh, but not what you laugh at. I remember what you said, but not what conversation we had. You made me wait for almost two hours in a rainy night. You made me walk so far, because you suddenly cancel our appointment. You made me an alien in a crowded. You made me quit smoking and then start again. You made me finish my first story (Thanks so much). You made me wise but childish as well. You made me really mad but very happy some times. You... made me writing. Maybe you don't know how bad you tortured me. But strange, I enjoyed it. Is this what you want? Bravo, to make someone love you like this. Such a beautiful little evil. I don't hate you. I'm just cursing sometime. Let me tell you something, don't make a man waiting in the dark if you're not willing to give him light. Don't make a cat waiting in front of a plate if you're not willing to give a milk. Don't say you miss me and want to meet if you're not willing to meet me. Just be honest. Maybe it hurt, but it is the right way. Goddamn, you're so lovely.

Maria Berlian Paska. a sweet Catholic girl I met. a beautiful Catholic girl I love. The only child of a happy family. Make your parents proud of you, ey. I'm proud of you. You really a strong woman, you should know that. Achieve all yor dreams, Berlian. Don't fall in love too easy. I don't want you to get hurt. Marry a real man. It's your year, right? But don't push too hard. And now let me move on to achieve my goals. I'm sorry but I have to erase you

You'd be the first Catholic girl I love. And will be the last. I promise you. I promise me. I promise God. I'll be very glad if you read this. If anyone read this, don't mock me, bastard. You never know

Still listening "the last song I'm wasting on you" this is the last writing I'm wasting on you

Saturday, 14 January 2012

How's the Friday 13th myth spread out

Tau ga kamu kalau asal muasal mitos friday 13th itu bermula saat perjamuan terakhir Yesus (Nabi Isa) dengan pengikutnya. "the most common theories links into tha fact that there were 13 people on the last supper. And the 13th guest was judas who was betrayed Jesus. And when he got up, he'd be the first to die." Juga beberapa orang percaya Yesus disalib pad hari Jumat, Adam dan Hawa memakan buah kuldi (buah terlarang) pada hari Jumat. Dan banjir besar pada jaman nabi Nuh terjadi pada hari Jumat. Namun, entah kenapa ketakutan pada friday 13th baru bermula pada abad 19. Mungkin karena fakta-fakta dan mitos-mitos yang ditemukan. Antara lain :

Pada tahun 1881, sebuah perkumpulan di New York menamai grup mereka 13 club. Bertujuan untuk menepis mitos-mitos tentang friday 13th - Mereka berjalan dibawah tangga pada jumat 13 memasuki ruangan yang dipenuhi garam dan pecahan kaca. Mereka kemudian ditemukan tewas karena kecelakaan.

Jika kebanyakan negara di Amerika, dan eropa mengalami ketakutan pada friday 13, di Yunani, Romania dan negara-negara yang menggunakan bahas Spanyol, Tuesday 13 adalah hari yang dianggap sial. Di Italia adalah Friday 17 hari yang dianggap sial. Tidak ada keterangan resmi mengenai perbedaan hari ini. Sepertinya mereka membuat tanggal-tanggal agar menjadi eksklusif.

Sebuah kapal buatan Inggris yang diberi nama Friday 13th, melakukan perjalanan perdananya pada Jumat tanggal 13. Namun sayang, kapal tersebut tidak pernah kembali.

Pesawat ulang alik Apolo 13 yang diluncurkan pada 11 April 1970 pukul 13.13 CST gagal mengorbit karena meledak dan hancur berkeping-keping. Entah kebetulan atau tidak, tanggal peluncuran jika dijumlahkan akan muncul angka 13 (1+1+4+7+0 = 13).

Friday 13th terjadi paling banyak 3 kali dalam setahun apabila awal tahun dimulai dari hari Minggu. Dan periode ini hanya terjadi 11 tahun sekali. Kenapa angka 13 disebut angka sial dan Jumat disebut hari sial?

Menurut numerology (ilmu yang mempelajari tentang angka) angka 12 dianggap sebagai angka yang komplit, sebagaimana yang ditunjukkan oleh jumlah bulan dalam setahun, jumlah angka dalam jam, 12 dewa olimpus, 12 suku yahudi, dan 12 khalifah Muhammad SAW. Sehingga angka 13 dianggap angka tidak sempurna.

Sedangkan Jumat dianggap hari sial sejak abad 14 (the canterbury tales) dan karena umat kristiani percaya bahwa Yesus (Nabi Isa) disalib di hari Jumat. namun di kepercayaan Muslim, hari Jumat adalah dianggap sebagai hari suci karena pada hari Jumat juga nabi Adam diciptakan, hari dimana doa mustajab, dan Umat muslim melaksanakan sholat jumat.

Akibat serangkaian kejadian yang terjadi, dan semakin meningkatnya ketakutan akan friday 13th berakibat massive di kehidupan sehari-hari. Fobia baru tercipta : paraskavedekatriaphobia (orang yang takut pada friday 13th) dan friggatriskaidekaphobia (orang yang takut angka 13) . Banyak rumah sakit yang sengaja tidak menyediakan kamar nomor 13. bangunan bertingkat juga menghapus tingkat ke-13, sejumlah bandara pun meniadakan gerbang ke-13. Presiden Franklin D Roosevelt tidak pernah bepergiian pada tanggal 13, tak pernah menjamu 13 orang tamu. Napoleon dan presiden Herbert Hoover juga menderita triskaidekaphobic.

Saat Friday 13th, berkembang mitos bahwa kita tidak boleh berjalan dibawah tangga dan melangkahi kucing hitam.

Itulah mitos-mitos seputar friday 13th. Jika diperhatikan, cerita ini sangat subur berkembang di dataran Eropa dan Amerika. Mereka memang pandai mengarang cerita atau memang benar adanya? Percaya ngga percaya aja. Don't take it too seriously.

Monday, 9 January 2012

Diatas dingin

Dia melihat tubuh telanjang hampir setiap hari
Tidak ada nafsu timbul dari melihatnya basah oleh air
Bukanlah seorang penikmat tubuh orang lain
Bukan pelihat tubuh sembarang orang
Yang mungkin bukan lagi orang
Saat anakmu terlalu takut untuk melihatmu, dia membantumu
Saat dirimu terlalu sedih melihat anakmu, dia membantumu
Ibu meninggal,
Anak tinggal
Anak meninggal
Ibu juga mati
Tak tahu kenapa dia begitu tegar ditengah lautan tangis keluarga
Membasuh gayung demi gayung ke seluruh tubuh yang ditinggal ruh
Menikmati keindahan dan kengerian didalam sekat dengan tenang
Tak boleh keburukan keluar untuk keluarga
“Siapa yang akan memandikanku nanti?”
Dia berbaring ditempat itu
Menangis memohon ampun
Dan seseorang memandikannya kemudian hari 

Wednesday, 21 December 2011

One Step Closer to Miles Away

I remember when I still didn't get the job for almost one year. It felt like I'm kind of scum of the earth. I just go everywhere to attend an interview, but never called again for a follow up. And there was a time where I must go to north Jakarta, to attend an interview with one of the multinational airlines in Soekarno-Hatta airport. The night before the interview, I was thinking not to come to the interview because it was so far away from my home, and I have to take an airport transportation to go there, which was pretty expensive for just a bus. But in the other hand I already feel the excitement because I never been to airport by myself and I thought it would be a great experience. Which was indeed I had a great experience (you can check my experience in my other post : "pungutan liar resmi")

I pretend like I'm one of the busy people who want to go abroad or something. I walked terminal to terminal, see people with their suitcase, their family and friends. And the most unforgettable moment is when I see and hear planes takeoff and landing. The engine sound. Suddenly I felt so carried away with emotion I could almost cried and in the meantime I felt like I can also be in that plane. And I said to myself  "don't worry mom, I will make you proud. I will be in that plane someday. I will go to other country and study there. No one will ever underestimate our family anymore."

And now I'm one step closer to miles away. Everyday, I am one step closer to my dreams.


Thursday, 1 December 2011

The Saddest Song Ends



Imagine when you're on your way home and find that you neighborhood are no longer exist
giant fire are burning every woods and houses
birds flies in a cloud of smoke but couldn't find their nests
human bodies are like the streets color - burning black and break
you wish to find your family member or friends
but they're all the same
you just stand your ground and stare a mile
because everything is burnt down to the ground
and something above is playing the saddest instrument
you keep staring until your strong hand is losing a grab
and your cute kitty doll for your 2 years old beautiful daughter falls into a burning stone
a lovely rose to your lovely lover hurt your hand to bleed
you just want to say that you love your mother more than anything in this world
but where is your mother?
where is your mother?
there's only a sound of fire
and then a big wave wash away all of a sudden
you lost everything
you're alone
the saddest song ends

Monday, 14 November 2011

Life and Death. Who Can Predict?

Life and death... Who can predict?
I remember a novel by Sadeq Hedayat - a great philosopher from Persia. When I was finished read "the blind owl" book, I turned to amazed with death. He could wrote such a beautiful, the joy of spiritual of death. Death is not just leaving everything you had. It's like achieving a new spiritual level.

And just a moment ago, I just looking for a death person's facebook account. It's my friend's wife. They're just married for about six months before his wife had a heart attack. Now it's nearly a year since the death of my friend's wife. And he still couldn't move on. I mean, for looking a new partner for his life. Well who can? When the person you loved suddenly took away from you. Death took his wife. And when I look at the deceased's wall on facebook, there's a path. a life path. When I scroll down on the wall, the deceased still exist on updating status. And when I scroll up... Scroll up... there are no status from her anymore. But the wall is full with the condolences from relatives. But before those, the closest person from her is updating a status, saying that the deceased is already passed away. But one status before, I still see the status updated from her. Not too distance from the death status. How death and life could be so close. Scroll up, the day that my friend's wife death. Scroll down, she still exist. Alive. Scroll up - death. Scroll down - life.

And I'm also think " OMG this is an account from a death person. She doesn't exist anymore. But I feel there's a life in her account - the photographs. The smiles.

Maybe you will never find another woman like your wife. So you can never move on looking for a new one. But notice that your wife is not dead just like that. She's on a higher spiritual level